While teaching IELTS Essay writing we spend a lot of time explaining to students issues of using too complicated language. However, we observe that most of the students don’t usually give up on the idea. Here is an essay on child labour in which the author tries too hard to use complex sentences and gets in trouble.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
What are results of working at such an early age?
What can be done to stop these problems?
Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Various forms of issues related to children are rising all over the world these days. One of those crucial issues is child labour. Children are made to work in all sorts of industries like shops, mining, factories, hotels etc. There are multiple reasons for child labour to exist in our modern society as well and hence it is high time we take some actions to uproot it.
Ideally, Children must have education, play and have fun; not work at some workplace against their will. Their future is damaged if they earn money but do not have appropriate education as the white-collar job opportunities are shut forever without formal pedagogy. Moreover, these oppressed children lose their self-worth, resulting in aimless lives. Consequently, they may turn into drug or alcohol addicts and many of them even may turn out to be lawbreakers and ruin their lives.
To overcome the curse of child labour the governments must ensure free education till 18 so that no parents or caretakers can force children into the quagmires of child labour on the pretext of lack of education fund. Agreed, there can be very few exceptions, where having youngsters is a must – films or dramas for children – we must make children as well as their caretakers aware of their rights so that no kid is harassed even as an exception.
In the end, I would like to emphasize that children should not be compelled to work as the compulsion may lead them towards darks of self-loathe and addictions. They should rather be promoted to pursue their education and awareness of their rights.
The purpose of introduction, body paragraphs and the end paragraph is very well justified. Most of the ideas are well developed and let’s reader understand the author’s point of view. Lastly, most of the words and sentence structures are used correctly.
Example 1: “There are multiple reasons for child labour to exist in our modern society…”
Better sentence 1: “There are multiple reasons why child labour is still observed in the modern society…”
Example 2: “Children must have education, play and have fun…”
Better sentence `2: “Children must learn, play and enjoy…”
Example 3: “…governments must ensure free education till 18 …”
Better sentence 3: “…governments must ensure free education till age 18 …”
We hope you have understood the improtance of clear writing.