IELTS Essay on developed nations helping developing countries

Developed nations must help under-developed or developing countries.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write valid reasons and relevant examples to support your position using at least 250 words.

IELTS essay

Introduction

In today’s world, there are many countries which are either developing or underdeveloped. They lack essential standards of living in terms of health, education and trade. Due to many social, economic, and other reasons, they cannot achieve this progress on their own. Therefore, I certainly think it is essential to get this assistance from developed nations’ governments.

Body paragraph 1 on why developed countries must help the emerging countries

If developed nations take responsibility to help poorer countries, it will balance the entire world’s overall progress, and our planet will become a better place to live. Firstly, aids for arranging health campaigns and training camps on advanced medicine for doctors from emerging countries can elevate healthcare levels in such countries. Secondly, education systems in poorer countries can be improved by training students and teachers in developed countries and providing better facilities. Thirdly, developing countries’ economy can be created by providing access to their traditional novelties in the free world market. For example, since ages the science in Ayurveda was untapped in Western World; now these techniques have come in quite handy in paramedicine.

Body Paragraph 2 on the possible objection on why developed nations should help poor countries and its solution

On the other hand, few opine that developed countries are under no obligation to help the developing ones. Yet they conveniently ignore the fact that cooperation among developed countries has helped them reach those milestones. If such a helping hand is extended towards the underdeveloped states, they may allow the developed nations back in the future as we all know life is a circle.

End Paragraph

In the end, the act of benevolence from rich countries won’t harm them instead would help restore miserable lives who are struggling for necessities. I would like to emphasise that the governments of wealthy nations must assist more impoverished countries.

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Analysis of the essay

Strengths of essays:

The essay opens up with a clear introduction. It states the main subject of discussion and the aspects which are going to be discussed in the essay.
The body paragraphs have compelling arguments to support the author’s case. The second body paragraph also tries to accommodate the point of view of the opposition and cleverly addresses the concern.
The end paragraph summarises the gist of the discussion without sounding repetitive.
The essay’s overall flow is easy to follow due to the natural flow of points and appropriate usage of the linking devices.
The words that could have been repeated are sufficiently and cleverly replaced. Also, almost all terms are used precisely.
There are hardly any grammatical errors.

Weaknesses of the essay

There is only one clear example. And even that example could have been more clear. Although there are a few indirect examples, the damage to the score is steep.
Some sentences are too long to read, and the reader may lose track while reading the essay.

Overall score = 7.5 bands

Niraj Deobhankar

Niraj has completed his Masters in Nuclear Engineering in India. He has worked with Bhabha Atomic Research Centre and other multi-national companies. While working in a consulting role, he found his passion for teaching. Since then, he has worked with numerous students to find their way after their bachelors. He has a knack of simplifying complex concepts and strategies in Writing and Speaking for everyone. You will find his lectures practical and useful. A typical introvert, he loves reading, especially exploits of Sherlock Holmes and Poirot, fictitious detectives who worked in England. He also spends his spare time in Yoga and Meditation.