IELTS Essay on investment in transportation systems

IELTS Essay on investment in transportation systems

In several countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for high-speed trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport within cities. 

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.  

Give reasons and examples from your knowledge or experience to support your answers.

Write at least 250 words.

8 bands IELTS Essay on investment in transportation systems

Introduction

In the past, a country’s infrastructure was built without any planning. However, nowadays, thanks to technology and the human race’s experience of developing transportation, people debate whether a country should ensure the best possible transport facilities between its cities or within individual towns. Looking at the trend, I believe government must strike a balance in their investments on both fronts. 

Comments

The introduction paragraph clearly states the scope of the essay. Also, it clearly states the two choices that we have.

Body Paragraph 1 on the importance of high-speed railways

No doubt connecting all cities in a country with fast-moving railways can lead to economic growth. As all urban areas are well connected with high-speed railways, businesses can move their assets efficiently, attracting even foreign companies to invest in them. Such investments can attract talented people worldwide, leading to the country’s overall growth. For example, the recent construction of high-speed railways among the main cities of China has ensured the nation boost its economic activities. As a result, within the last 20 years, the country has been a shining example of the importance of better railway infrastructure. 

Comments

The body paragraph 1 explains why connecting cities within a region or a country is essential very well. The example is well-elaborated with the same logic used to illustrate the point.

Body Paragraph 2 about public transport

At the same time, people who live in these prosperous cities deserve well constructed public transport. If the municipal transit system is efficient, towns can handle the local as well as migrant population effectively. Otherwise, in the absence of any public transportation, people are forced to buy their private vehicles, leading to traffic jams and pollution. For instance, barring a few cities in India, most have poor local transportation. As a result, although the urban areas are well connected with railways, people find it difficult to move within the cities. 

Comments

This body paragraph supports the reason for developing the local transportation system with appropriate examples.

End Paragraph

Thus, to ensure the overall development of towns, the government must invest in both high-speed intercity railways and public transportation. As a result, the government can provide long term sustainable development of a country.

Read a 5.5 band essay on the same topic. This is a challenging topic, and many students commit very similar errors.

5.5 bands IELTS Essay on investment in transportation systems

Introduction

Public transport is an excellent way to travel. Railways are one of the convenient types of public transport by which people can traverse long distances quickly. The need for fast trains between cities is indeed true, but it does not change the fact that the condition of public transport in our country is getting worse day by day. 

Comments

The introduction paragraph has defined the scope of the essay in a way. Yet, it fails to convey the author’s opinion. 

Body Paragraph 1 on constructing high-speed railways

Spending an extravagant amount of money on the construction of these railway lines is unnecessary. Given the problems at hand, the cost incurred for the construction will be first used in clearing forests and other scenic areas that will be in the way of those railway lines and hence destroying nature. 

Comments

 Body paragraph 1 starts with an opinion. Also, the author mentions ‘given the problems at hand…’ but doesn’t mention what these problems are. So, the reasoning for the writer’s view is unclear for the reader. Lastly, the second sentence is unnecessarily long.

Body Paragraph 2 on improving public transportation

Instead, this same amount of money can be used to rehabilitate public transport in many prestigious cities. The condition of public transport is already bad, and it does not look like it will improve unless a considerable amount of money is invested. One example of inconvenience caused by public transport is the condition of the buses. These buses are filthy and look like they are a century old. They are not maintained internally or externally as well. The seats and the overall setting inside the bus are shabby and stained. From the outside, these buses do not consist of any lights, which is often the reason for tragic accidents. Lastly, these buses emit vast quantities of smoke, which harms nature and the people around them. 

Comments

Body paragraph 2 starts with the importance of public transportation; however, the word ‘rehabilitation’ may not fit well in the given context. That word is used usually in the case of physical or mental or economical recovery of people and not of infrastructure. Here, the sentences are too short, and so the reader may find it hard to understand the connection between them.

End Paragraph

With the funding from the government, the condition of these buses and other modes of public transport can be improved, which will in turn aid in the drastic development of the country.  Instead of spending money on constructing railway lines which is not a sudden issue, over government should shift their focus on public transport for the time being. 

Comments

The end paragraph effectively summarises the discussion. 

Overall, one can observe that this author loses bands because of the undeveloped ideas, awkward sentences, and inapt words. 

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