What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Give reasons and examples from your knowledge or experience to support your answer.
Write at least 250 words.
In the past, students used to study in their own country to complete a university degree. However, nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. Looking at this trend, we must analyse the advantages and disadvantages of this new tendency.
Although the introduction defines the scope of discussion quite well, the introduction has a few words borrowed from the topic statement.
There are many benefits for the students who decide to go for university studies abroad. Firstly, they will get a chance to learn new things and different cultures as they meet new people from different areas and backgrounds. As a result, students become more open-minded and would learn something new from others. For example, by coming to India, I learn many things about Hinduism that I have never heard of before. I feel I am a more open person than I used to be. Secondly, students studying abroad become more responsible as they move away from their families and learn to live independently. So, they build their personality for the next step of their life and face challenges.
The ideas are well supported and connected with the appropriate linking words. Also, the example supports the point made previously. The only scope of improvement could have been; however, a more specific example describing how exactly the author felt different in another country.
On the other hand, studying abroad might also have drawbacks in certain areas. In some cases, these young people adopt destructive behaviours because of their freedom from being far from their families. They end up not studying and waste the critical time of their lives. Also, once youngsters are used to living abroad, most of them don’t want to go back home and develop their countries with the knowledge acquired. This represents a significant loss for the developing countries that lose capable workers for its betterment. For instance, many students from India go to western countries to study and don’t return to their motherland, leaving it undeveloped.
Although the second point is well developed and supported with an example, the first point could have been better. Still, overall, the paragraph is well constructed.
In summary, there are many advantages for the students who got their university degree abroad compared to those who stay in their own country. They learn new things and different cultures, and they develop themselves personally. However, there is always a risk of adopting bad behaviours and also probably some of them might not return to their birth country.
The end paragraph summarises the points discussed in the essay satisfactorily.
In the past, none of the students preferred going to other countries for their further studies. However, a nowadays growing number of students like studying abroad. Looking at the current phase, one must analyse the merits and demerits of having an opportunity to study overseas.
The introduction is well written and is very similar to the previous essay.
There are multiple advantages of going abroad and pursuing higher studies. Students prefer to get to know more practical knowledge than others by getting hands-on experience and talking to seniors. Moreover, students become more self-confident and dependent on themselves by doing all their daily work by themselves. For instance, we have to do all the work included in our everyday life. Furthermore, students can know new cultures by going abroad and experiencing local culture and meeting new people.
The body paragraph 1 explains the advantages of studying abroad; however, none of the points is well explained. Ideas in each point are insufficient, and the reader needs to assume many things to make sense of them. Similarly, the example is inadequate.
On the other hand, it can be found that travelling abroad has minor adverse effects on the students. Some of them are getting involved in unethical activities and drugs. Those things might make students deviate from their morals and traditions. If this happens, then he could not concentrate on his studies anymore. Also, students may get involved in some accidents during travelling. Such incidents could damage the country’s reputation forever.
Body paragraph 2 suffers from similar issues to the previous ones. An essay intends to convince the reader about the writer’s point of view. If the author puts too many ideas without developing them, they will bore the reader. The same has happened in this essay.
In conclusion, studying abroad has its pros and cons. However, as I stated above, that the advantages are prominent features. Every student who intended to study abroad pick out good & beneficial merits and is extremely abstract from the ugly habits.
The end paragraph is flawed since the author writes their opinion when not asked.