Do the advantages of the child having a large number of toys overweigh its disadvantages?
Give reasons and examples from your knowledge or experience to support your answer.
Write at least 250 words.
Toys, being the primary source of engagement for children and in turn of entertainment are often a source of debate as to how many toys parents should provide to their children. There are many merits and shortfalls of having too many toys, out of which this essay aims to address few vital advantages and disadvantages.
Although the introductory paragraph presents the scope of the essay with ease, the first sentence is too long and complicated. Many students may commit errors while attempting such sentences.
Firstly, let us discuss the advantages of having ample toys to play with. Toddlers or children are at an impressionable age and are highly impacted by the interactions they have with their surroundings. At this stage, having sufficient toys to interact with helps them to develop cognitive abilities. This is turn drastically helps improve their ‘motor functions. In the long run, this contributes to the development of a sharp mind and excellent aptitude. Moreover, interactive toys aid in keeping children constantly engaged, due to which the youngsters are always looking for a new activity. This helps develop an inquisitive nature and keeps children active.
The body paragraph 1 states two distinct advantages of children having many toys. Both points have integrated examples and explain the idea thoroughly. In such cases, the IELTS examiner would prefer only one well-elaborated point and an explicit example. However, this structure is not incorrect.
On the other hand, giving too many toys to children results in pampering which in turn runs the risk of them becoming extremely rigid and demanding in nature. This will adversely impact their ability to cope with struggles and adjustments they will have to face later in life as they grow. However, parents can rather buy limited but different toys for children and encourage them to share these different toys with each other. As a result, the children may not only enjoy the toys but also learn to share their possessions with others. For example, in many cities, parents have come together to form a library of toys from which children can borrow one or two at a time. The children then are taught to play with them responsibly and return them without damage.
Body paragraph 2 uses the linking words and introductory statement effectively to transit from advantages and disadvantages. It presents a problem and also offers its solution.
In conclusion, parents must avoid pampering their children with costly toys. Yet they must strike a balance by providing toys that enhance cognition and encourage young minds to share their toys with one another.
The last paragraph summarises the points discussed in the body paragraphs very well.
Read another 8 bands esssay on the same topic below.
In the past, parents spent a reasonable amount of time with their kids and were not dependent on toys to keep their kids engaged and entertained. However, in today’s fast-paced life, parents resort to buying too many toys for their kids in order to keep them busy as they find less time to spend together. Looking at the trend, one must analyse the merits and demerits of the practice.
The introduction clarifies the trend and the scope of the essay very well.
The tendency of buying a large number of toys has a lot of demerits. First of all, having too many toys to play with, keeps the kid indoors most of the time. The resultant lack of physical activity, at such an early age, may lead to childhood obesity and ultimately hamper the overall physical development of such kids. For example, a recent report by BBC showed how being indoors playing video games has resulted in an increase in child obesity by a whopping 50%in the last decade in Europe. Furthermore, children start relating their sense of happiness with the number of toys they possess. This may lead to competition amongst their peers to see who owns the most number of toys that may eventually end up creating more demands for toys from their parents.
This could be termed as an ideal paragraph since it elaborates ideas well along with an example.
On the contrary, some would say that toys like Rubic’s cube help children develop their mental abilities. However, many children like games with real-life situations that may increase their awareness and aid them to face the real world more confidentially; for example, games that include virtually driving a car or a bike However, such story-based games are often blamed for inculcating wrong values amongst the kids. These games reward rash driving or mass killing and may end up inculcating violent behaviour in children since most of them at that age may learn by imitation and cannot differentiate between right and wrong.
Body paragraph 2 explains an advantage and explains the contradiction associated with it very well. It effectively uses linking words at crucial junctures to clarify the ideas.
In summary, although some toys may be integral to the personal development of children, having too many toys has a lot of demerits like childhood obesity and an increase in violent behaviour in kids.
The end paragraph is a bit too short, yet it explains the main gist of the essay.
Read another 6 band essay below on the same topic and learn from the mistakes of the author.
There are a variety of innovative toys available in the market these days; however, in the older days, very basic toys with limited mechanisms were available. Today customers are spoilt for choice with multiple options. As a result, parents tend to buy a lot of toys for their children – a trend which has both advantages and disadvantages.
The initial two sentences are confusing as they go from present to past and again to present. Although it encompasses the scope of the essay well, it can be improved upon.
Let us first look at the advantages of today’s children possessing multiple toys. Such toys have different functionality which helps in a child’s brain development in different ways. For example, toys like building blocks and remote assisted cars and planes build motorable skills like eye and hand coordination. In addition, they encourage children’s creativity since there are various designs that can be built with blocks or different routes that a car can take. Toys like scrabble or business act as child education tools wherein they gain skills useful for real life.
The author could have explained the points a bit more. The author could have avoided two examples in that case. Having said that the writer uses linking devices well.
Some critics of this development believe that possessing more toys spoils the child. Children start expecting more from their parents in terms of other day-to-day needs like clothes and other computer games. They fail to appreciate simple pleasures of life like playing outdoor games with their friends or even engaging in simple old fashioned indoor games. On a larger scale, this behaviour may result in children becoming materialistic in their adult lives.
Although body paragraph 2 states the demerits as expected, it doesn’t help the writer to take a final stand as the previous essays.
In summary, we can conclude that multiple toy options can help in the overall skills and educational development of a child. However, they may also result in the child taking such options for granted.