What are some of the main factors that have contributed to this problem?
What can be done to help reduce the number of homeless people?
Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
In the past, due to the availability of ample space to build houses, cities did not face issues; however, recently, almost all urban establishments have faced serious accommodation problems. Looking at such conditions, one must discuss the causes of these difficulties and remedial actions one must take to decrease the number of homeless individuals.
The introduction for this essay is much better than the 6.5 bands essay example later since it encompasses the overall scope of the essay.
There are a few prominent explanations for housing issues in urban areas. Most of the cities face a shortage of space to build new houses since people from villages migrate to cities in search of better prospects of education and jobs. This rapid migration surges the demand for housing, forcing people to the outskirts. Moreover, the rising demands for residences increase the pricing of the property, making it unaffordable for common people, who in such cases may not have access to basic amenities. To illustrate, Mumbai, a city in India, witnesses people migrating from all over the country as the city has developed to be a manufacturing, IT and educational hub. However, many of them live in cramped houses without electricity or water.
Body paragraph 1 has an introductory sentence that summarises the points in the rest of the paragraph. Then, the two points are well explained and connected with each other. Also, the example uses the same logic in the adjacent point.
Considering the worsening living conditions in cities, one must take remedial actions for the homeless. Firstly, the government must build free shelters for the destitute so that they can pursue work or necessary education. Having been trained in a profession, homeless people can save money to buy their own house. Secondly, it should promote education as well as entrepreneurship in rural parts, thereby reducing the current trend of migration and ultimately controlling the expanding cities. Due to such cutbacks, the people won’t lose their ancestral houses and property rates in cities could be controlled, thereby reducing the number of homeless people.
Again this body paragraph has well-elaborated points and examples.
Looking back, centralisation of the jobs and educational opportunities, leading to migration and subsequent exorbitant housing prices, lead to accommodation despairs in cities. These difficulties can be addressed primarily by building free shelters for the poor and decentralisation of the industry as well as career opportunities.
The last paragraph summarises the points discussed in the body paragraphs very well.
While travelling in my city Mumbai, it is hard to miss the cramped housing and ever-increasing slums. These issues creep in the cities because of multiple reasons and lead to a lack of basic facilities. The onus to provide accommodation and basic amenities lies on the government to a great extent.
Even after hundreds of years of industrialisation, people from villages migrate to cities searching for better prospects of education and jobs. This rapid migration surges the demand for housing and property rates. Higher demand for housing leads to deficiency of the land while higher property rates push people to congested vicinities and hence the problems of housing. To illustrate, Pune, a city in India, witnesses people migrating people all over the country as the city has developed to be a manufacturing, IT and educational hub, giving ways to unstructured growth and accommodation woes.
To overcome the obstacles of homeless, the government must take some instant steps. Firstly, the government must work on affordable housing schemes for citizens who have already found the means in the city. Let’s take the case of Japan, where the government is promoting ‘cubic feet living’, a concept that utilises vertical space. Secondly, it should encourage education and entrepreneurship in rural parts, thereby reducing the current trend of migration and ultimately controlling the expanding cities.
Looking back, centralisation of industrial area and means of education and career are significant reasons for migration, and thus accommodation despairs in cities. These difficulties can be addressed primarily by the decentralisation of industry as well as career opportunities.
The writer has understood and responded to the question in the format required. The essay makes for smooth reading as there are no awkward phrasings or misused words. There are various sentence structures and connectors employed by the writer, which shows their prowess in the language. The example provided with the point was appropriate as well.
The writer missed out on the purpose of the essay in the introductory paragraph. That statement sets the mood for the essay and gives the reader some clue about what to expect. Adding a statement like “This essay aims to explore the reasons for homelessness, and suggest a few solutions for the same” would have clearly stated the purpose of the essay.
They may even be penalised for not writing multiple reasons, as mentioned in the instructions for Body Paragraph 1. The structuring of the ideas makes it seem like there is only one point when this idea could be broken down to give multiple reasons. The writer would have benefitted from adding another point about homelessness apart from migration, say overpopulation and changing familial ties to make sure they meet all the instructions.
Body Paragraph 2 can be a little contradictory as the writer aims to write immediate solutions but provides only long term plans, no matter how logical.